It’s heartbreaking to witness your child in floods of tears as you drop them off at school. Especially when it happens at every single drop-off.
We struggled with both daycare and school drop off for a long time and they were a draining experience for both my daughter and I. Then I figured out how to transform them from dreadful into dreamy with these 6 tweaks:
Have fun together before you drop-off – Show me a Mum who hasn’t got a zillion things to juggle in the morning before she leaves the house a I don’t think she exists. However it’s all about priorities. Maybe ditch folding the clothes or emptying the dishwasher and instead choose to spend 5 minutes, yep just 5, reading a story together, playing with teddies/cars or putting on a song to dance together . This will help both of you, as this bonding releases oxytocin, the same hormone that was around when you conceived them (yep, remember that!), and it raises your vibe and energy. These 5 minutes could save you 15 minutes later.
Drop-off at the same time everyday – Don’t become a clock Nazi but choose to arrive at approximately the same time everyday. This way you’ll find a sense of comfort as to what to expect and who is often there. Your child can be very sensitive to the emotions of other children and parents at drop-off, so definitely avoid arriving at the same time as other kids/parents who struggle with drop off as it’s contagious! Keep the same time for a few weeks until you see your child more settled. We arrived early and school and played in the yard for a while before the bell went.
It’s ok if they want to cry – It’s been proven that our tears are full of cortisol (stress-hormones) and by crying we clear our body of those hormones. When kids are taught to suppress their emotions it can lead to depression and anxiety later in life. It helps to know this and not think they are just ‘turning on the waterworks’ to make your late. So if you know tears are a part of drop-off allow yourself an extra 5 minutes for these tears. The key is not to try and fix them, simply acknowledge that they are feeling sad. It’s also perfectly ok for you to have a cry or feel sad after you drop them off, give yourself a moment to sit with these feelings too.
Are your emotions negatively contributing to the situation? Kids are exceptionally perceptive and intuitive to the deep emotions of their Mums. This was perhaps my biggest learning. I appeared super calm on the outside and never spoke out loud of my worries or concerns, yet my daughter could pick up on them. My thoughts were racing from ‘will I get to work on time (to a job I didn’t enjoy) through to what on earth will we have for dinner that night?! Always busy, busy, busy! So to help myself feel more together I started to get up a few minutes earlier, before my kids. Depending on the day I would go for a walk or meditate or enjoy sitting in silence. These few moments to myself helped me feel calmer for the whole morning.
Don’t compare yourself – Sometimes you can feel like a failure when you are the Mum with the upset child and you see other parents simply wave goodbye with ease. However comparing yourself to them, or your child to theirs, is not going to serve you, and doing so in fact just adds to your pain the emotions your child is picking up on. Having a kid who struggles with drop-off does not mean you are a bad mother. Reach out and talk to the teachers as they will have skills and insights to share with you how to navigate this.
Keep track of what worked – To truly find the winning formula for a successful drop-off I would suggest keeping a track of what routine worked and what emotions showed up. As awareness will give you the knowledge the tweak and make the changes. When you have the whole picture it also helps you to make better choices and to trust your intuition more. You can grab a copy of my free ‘Emotions Tracker for your Child’ to use simply by entering your email below. This help you maps out the good days, so you can repeat them, and the see the bigger picture on the tougher days. Having this information is gold.
If you would like more personalised help I can support you to get to the core emotional concern for your child in my private Intuitive sessions.
Free Emotions Tracker for Your Child
Enter your details below to receive the comprehensive guide to tracking and identifying the emotions of your child to help you build your awareness to empower them more.
Barbara Brangan - Intuitive Coach for Mums
Barbara is passionate about supporting Mums to recognise that children are often highly intuitive and sensitive to invisible energy and emotions. She has learnt this through supporting over 300+ Mums at events and in private intuitive sessions and also from the front-line of parenting as she has 2 young daughters, who are both sensitive and intuitive.
Barbara is Irish and lives in Sydney. She supports clients all around the world, as all sessions are delivered online.